Where to begin…
I came out of those 20 weeks with so much. So many laughs, so many tears (from joy and other deep emotions), so many pages read, so many words spoken, and so many revelations that changed my view of God, myself, and this world we live in.
I never expected to be changed so inwardly by doing something so external – studying the Word of God. But God’s word cannot help but reveal in a person their need for God Himself. Their reaction to this revelation is what leads people onto two different paths – the only two paths possible to follow. One, following “the Way,” walking with God, or, two, following “self,” walking as best a person figures they can.
I never expected to be changed so inwardly by doing something so external – studying the Word of God.
As I studied God’s Word, the junk that had cluttered my mind and heart rose as some sort of giant monster out to devour my very identity. How could you approach such a God as this? Why do you think you can be a part of a story so glorious and wonderful? You’re not worthy of Him. These are the lies that had been plaguing my life for a while, but I had grown accustomed to letting them sit nicely on the shelf of my mind and heart. I dug into His story. I read of what He had done and thus, saw who He actually is. This is no mere fairytale. This is no Sunday school story. This is not someone else’s story. No, this became part of my story. Not that it is really about me. In reality, it is and always has been all about God. Yet, I saw how I was invited into the story with Him. See, while the Bible is full of events that have happened, it also promises a beautiful future full of events yet to occur. The story started in the Bible has not ended. It is continuous and it will be eternal! Rightfully so, considering God Himself is eternal.
These are the lies that had been plaguing my life for a while, but I had grown accustomed to letting them sit nicely on the shelf of my mind and heart.
There is a restoration that can happen when those deepest and most broken parts of us rise to the surface, but it never happens by manipulation or on accident. It takes humility to recognize those things in us that were not intended to exist and to commit to ridding the “self” out of us. This seems a bit irrational, I know. But a “self” focus will always create a comfortable environment for sin and for the brokenness in us to continue to choke us and distort the real us – the us that God knows best. Since God is our Creator, he knows us the best. This is why we are in need of Him to experience actual and radical restoration from the inside out.
…a “self” focus will always create a comfortable environment for sin and for the brokenness in us to continue to choke us and distort the real us…
After those things come to the surface, and we choose to bring them to the Lord, freedom comes! I found deep healing in BSN because God met me in the midst of digging up old memories and bad habits that had been slowly devouring my joy, peace, and confidence. I had begun to doubt my value and the Lord Himself. It was easy to tell people about God’s goodness and love for them, but it was much harder to believe for myself. But my feelings hadn’t changed God. He is ever constant, while I on the other hand, often swarm with emotions and thoughts that leave me feeling tossed around and dizzy.
I found deep healing in BSN because God met me in the midst of digging up old memories and bad habits that had been slowly devouring my joy, peace, and confidence.
After freedom comes the ability to share your story. That’s why missions is important. There is deeper freedom in being vulnerable and walking out and applying truths that you learn. In BSN, we constantly talked about how the things we were studying were applicable to our lives. That is part of why it was such a transformative experience. It wasn’t just educational. I am so glad that we did an outreach at the end of our lecture phase in BSN. Getting to teach the same truths that had brought me freedom solidified them even more in me. I watched the same “light-bulb” moments that I had experienced in BSN happen for people when I was teaching. Many of the people my team shared with really received and started applying the truths to their lives. It was beautiful to not only recognize that I was free, but also to see other people find a freedom from gaining a deeper understanding of God’s Word.
It was beautiful to not only recognize that I was free, but also to see other people find a freedom from gaining a deeper understanding of God’s Word.
John 8:31-32 (ESV)
“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
This is just a small glimpse of what the BSN meant to me and helped me to learn. Most of all, the Lord did a huge thing in me from the inside out. Through intentionally sitting with Scripture, learning from humble teachers, and discussions with the most faithful of friends, I came out of BSN with a deeper love for God and His Word, a passion to keep being a learner, and a commitment to keep telling the story to anyone who will listen.
Brooke has completed several training schools with us at YWAM Louisville! She was a student in our Bible School for the Nations in January of 2019. Brooke is someone who holds a high value of truth, loves freely and cares deeply. She adds joy and sense of stability where ever she goes!